How to avoid conflicts? How to avoid conflicts in the family? How to avoid conflict at work

A variety of quarrels and unspoken grievancesseriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiate the positive is not so simple, because at every step we are trapped by unpleasant surprises and attacks of other people. But to struggle with all this negativity is simply vital.

Why is it important to stop swearing?

The main reason to think abouthow you can avoid conflicts - your own mental health. Recollect the last quarrel in which you could participate. Dissatisfied skeptical statements quickly turn into real shouts. But you and your opponent have already parted, and you have been shaking for another half an hour. Concentrate on anything does not work, and it remains only to scroll through the head all the insults received and think which ones are deserved. But in fact, if someone from the surrounding people constantly treat you disdainfully, over time, self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed for years by their wives or colleagues who do not dare to undertake serious projects, because the boss constantly says that they are not too keen on it? Of course, a bad world is better than a colorful war. It is always useful to have polite neutrality or a benevolent relationship with all friends, rather than making enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to an open confrontation.

Learning to understand and respect

Universal advice on how to avoidConflict - learn to respect everyone around. It is not important who is before you: a homeless person, trying to beg for money or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you had to speak, maintain a benevolent tone of communication. Often conflicts are due to misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interviewee is wrong, or says something nonsense, briefly describe everything that you understand from what you heard, ask him again if he meant this. Never take critical information, remember that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Never start to clash first

Think about how often you provoke conflicts?In order to start a quarrel, there is sometimes enough one careless word. If you provoke openly, inciting the interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or the convictions that he has, it's time to think seriously about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personal memo "How to avoid conflict." Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you have to be able to achieve your goals through peace.

Think positively, wish good

Never copy evil within yourself.Popular advice of psychologists, how to avoid conflict at work or at home - just keep silent. In practice, it really works. But even if the quarrel does not happen, the offense will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the last? All claims to others must be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the guarantee of a happy family life. If the households rarely help you, do not make a scandal, but just point out their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, one can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.

Do not dissolve gossip and criticize consciously

This is the essence of human nature, which inthe lack of mutual acquaintances we love to talk about them. To "washing the bones" not only women but also men are inclined. This habit should be disposed of. If you condemn someone, say it in person to a person. To climb into personal life, if you were not initiated, at least uncivilized. It's unkind to respond behind your back about those with whom you personally communicate well - this is a real meanness. From categorical comments to the address of third parties it is better to refrain altogether. If the situation requires your observation, try softly, but unequivocally tell the person everything in person, as it is. Can conflict be avoided if you want to express criticism, but do not have strong arguments? Of course, yes. Suffice it to emphasize that all your words - it's your personal opinion, and listen to it or not, it's up to the opponent to decide.

To argue or not?

Some people are born debaters, they loveto the last to prove their opinion. In this case, the result is not important, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or loved ones from scratch? Learn to respect others' interests. Suppose your wife likes green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Do you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and with pleasure drink. So why fall to mutual insults and screams because of musical preferences, politics or religion? It is most useful to note in advance a list of topics for which it is better not to talk with a specific person.

Agree and ... make your own way!

Common cause of conflict at work -teachings and exhortations. The most difficult thing to solve is when you are sure that you are doing everything correctly, and a less competent person suggests a different algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the very situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If the boss “teaches” you to work correctly, but despite the fact that he is satisfied with the results today, you should not try to point out the mistakes of his judgments. A rare boss admits that he doesn’t have enough knowledge and has really come up with utter nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for the right moment and continue to work in the usual algorithm. This advice on the eternal topic: "How to avoid conflicts" will help at home. Wear a hat before going out in May, so as not to upset the retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive at a speed above 80 km / h. Once you turn the corner of the building, you can take off the headdress, and how to drive a car is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood at the height of each potential participant in the quarrel.

If the scandal began ...

A whole branch of psychology is engaged in breedinguniversal formula how to avoid conflicts. Rules do not always work. And if you are still drawn into the showdown, your task as soon as possible to stop the quarrel. Concentrate on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never go to the insults and do not remember the past, it is desirable to also abandon the generalized wording. This is the main secret of how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say ..." or "you always act ...". Such criticism is dangerous, phrases of this type are perceived by the addressee as the toughest criticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always unhappy with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.

Good mood - salvation from scandals

If you do not know how to avoid conflicts,learn to keep calm in any situation. Do not raise your voice and maintain a benign intonation. It is also useful to keep a calm smile on your face. When they criticize you, listen carefully and thank them sincerely. If you are dealing with someone above you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Acknowledge that without his instructions and advice on your own, you would never think about it. You will say: "But why obey the parents in adulthood, if it took all of their childhood?" In fact, knowing how to avoid conflicts in the family is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives, minor concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part - this is nothing in comparison with the well-being in the house and the warm atmosphere.

Tips of life without scandals

Угождать всем и всегда очень трудно.It's one thing to keep silent during an argument and get dressed once a month in the way your mother wants. But it is completely different - to devote the life of an unloved profession or to give up your own desires. When are you going to give in to someone, try to assess how much this act will harm your life? To be able to defend one’s interests is also an art. In some situations it is better to survive a quarrel, but continue your way to the existing reference point. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, you should try to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if there is no talk, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that it is precisely the quarrels with the closest people - the brightest and the strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.

Summing up

Now you know how to avoid conflict onwork or at home. It is enough to stop taking the opinions of others and criticizing you to heart. It is necessary to treat with understanding to all others, and not to feel hostility towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and eliminate unworthy people from your life without regret. In some situations it is easier to give in than to defend one’s case. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, act as you see fit. Do not forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view, you can find a compromise or end the quarrel in another way.

Some conflicts have serious consequences.After a quarrel, you may lose your job. Or your friend does not wish to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the previous relationship. Assess the consequences of a quarrel, in order not to happen, to perceive what happened as an apocalypse is not worth it. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or unjustly offended the interlocutor, you should apologize. The first time after the conflict has occurred, it is better to communicate at a minimum, they will surely forgive you and understand, but some time is necessary. But after a couple of days, you can move on to conciliatory steps. Try to just talk with someone who recently quarreled, please with something this person. If you are in conflict at work, you should try to fulfill your duties at the highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.