The theme of intergenerational relationships isvery extensive. But there are the most common causes of conflict points, which should pay special attention. No matter how attentive and understanding the parents are, and no matter how hard the children try, alas, conflicts cannot be avoided. This is a kind of adaptation of all family members. So why do conflicts arise between parents and children?
Causes
Causes can be both general andspecific, related to the psychology of relationships of loved ones. So why are there conflicts between parents and children? Much depends on the type of interaction adopted within the family.
Существует тип отношений гармоничный, а также opposite to him. In the first case, the concept of mutual assistance is formed in the family, everyone knows their role, and all together the relatives are on the same side of the fence. Disharmonious type is characterized by a negative model of relations between spouses. Communication occurs with attacks, recriminations, and hidden or overt disrespect. Children in such a family initially grow up with a feeling of unceasing anxiety.
Conflicts on the background of methods of education: excessive custody and prohibitions
Conflicts between parents and children oftenarise against the background of educational methods that have destructive power. Characteristic features of this are, above all, disagreements between father and mother on key issues. For example, one parent has just banned the child from eating candy, while the second one insistently offers it. This inconsistency leads not only to ignorance of the order of children, but also to the emergence of conflicts between adults. The destructive methods also include prohibitions and excessive care, excessive demands on children's achievements, as well as frequent comparison with others. Standards for success are recommended to set within the family, as well as methods of promotion. Then the children will form the correct idea of real life values and priorities.
Age crises
Crises of a certain age arean additional reason why conflicts arise between parents and children. Statistics of such situations exceed 80%. In the transitional period, the child tries to revise the value system that has already been formed in the past age segment. Crises occur in the first, third, sixth year of life, during puberty, conditionally up to 14 years, and in the adolescent interval - up to 18.
Each of them has its own peculiarities of perception of the external world and interpretations of different situations. The child begins to rebel in cases that previously did not even raise questions.
Personality factors and types of relationships
Conflicts between parents and children oftenarise due to personal factors. The most common is the conservatism of the older generation. Not the fact itself, as its manifestations. These include the reluctance to comprehend the new, to listen to the personal opinion of children, as a result - the disrespect of their point of view. Although in response, parents require unquestioning obedience and honoring their years of experience. This is very similar to dictation, which is an unequivocal mistake of adults. Sooner or later it will entail an appropriate response. That is why conflicts arise between parents and children.
What ways people from different generations communicate can be clearly seen by the types of relationships between seniors and juniors, which are divided into:
• Optimal when everyone is happy as the situation allows.
• Necessary in which parents are interested in the affairs of children, and those, in turn, are happy to share their thoughts.
• One-sided or pushy. In this case, most adults initiate conversations about the affairs of the younger generation. The response is made from a sense of favor.
• Ignore. When children are happy to share their interests, but in return they receive only parental indifference. Often the phrase “yes you can show something new” sounds like that.
• When the lifestyle of the younger is a cause for conflict. In this case, elders are right.
• When the choice of the younger generation provokes conflict situations with parents, the children are right.
• Mutual disregard, when no one is interested in the affairs of another. Children and parents are often forced to live in the same territory, being at the same time, in fact, strangers.
Why conflict?
Why do conflicts arise between parents and children? Because of teens and their behavior. Here, in fact, not so simple. Teens and parents conflict according to the following types:
• Seniors are constantly raising the bar of success for the child, in the end he gets tired of fighting for primacy.
• Over-care, manifested in excessive care and parental intervention in all areas of a child’s life.
• Total control, dictatorship, non-acceptance by parents of the slightest hint of a child’s independence.
• Authority, when everyone tries to prove his case, no matter what the cost.
Children react most often with the following behavior: opposition, disobedience, and also isolation.
Experience is important
We figured out why there are conflicts betweenparents and children. How can you avoid such situations? Perhaps, no one qualified psychologist can give such recommendations. The fact is that such situations contribute to the emergence of a certain experience, which is very important for the formation of a full-fledged personality. Preventing useful lessons is not worth it, and it will not work, even with great desire.
Equal dialogue
Чтобы легче переживать естественные моменты, The main reasons for conflicts between parents and children should be taken into account. How they can be resolved is a question that is of great interest to many. Benefit for oneself and for the family as a whole can be brought if one perceives contradictions as the norm for healthy development of relations. No need to argue, it is better to listen to the point of view of the child and explain their own. This will be a dialogue, not a debate. If the children are still small enough, you should review your system of prohibitions
Нужно заменить «нельзя» на «давай попробуем otherwise. Children should be prohibited only in case of danger or impossibility of what is happening. All other situations can be resolved peacefully. This approach can always find the answer to the question of why conflicts arise between parents and children. How to solve them, should suggest the experience of past years.
Listen to your child
If present parents are not in childhoodwere allowed to have an opinion, then this situation should be radically changed for your child. You need to hear your own child. Then you can not worry about his unmet needs, because moms and dads will know what is really needed.
Conclusion
Прежде чем спрашивать у кого-либо, почему conflicts arise between parents and children, you should ask yourself this question. You need to put yourself in the place of the younger generation, open your mind for something new. Dictate should be replaced with the option given to children. It is important to be consistent with your child, that is, keep promises.
