"He does not understand me!"- This phrase at least once in the life of each married woman said: what is it: simple words, spoken on emotions, or ascertaining the fact? Then how to live with a husband if there is no mutual understanding? Or maybe it's not a specific man, but all? Perhaps they are at a genetic level unable to understand women and satisfy all their desires and needs? All this will be discussed in this article.
Short-lived happiness from marriage
In the first days and weeks of marital relations, bothAs well as in the beginning of dating and the birth of love, it seems that at last happiness has come. The newlyweds are in a great mood, they see the family life easy, cloudless and infinitely joyful. But very soon this euphoria ends, and gray everyday life, everyday troubles come to replace it, as well as one of the most common reasons for quarrel: the problem of mutual understanding. The better a man and a woman get to know each other in marriage, the weaker becomes their sexual attraction, because their dreams are fulfilled, turning into a real life, which means that sex from a stormy passion has become a routine fulfillment of marital duties.
Marriage kills romance
Over time, husband and wife cease to treat each otherto a friend so tenderly and gently as before the wedding. There is no caress, flirting, compliments are spoken less and less, they are replaced by criticism and mutual claims. In each of the spouses egoism awakens, it would be desirable that the partner in all indulged and appeased. Such desires give rise to omissions, resentment, disappointment.
If you want to keep mutual understanding in the family asyou can take longer, you need to cherish the love, try to bring to the everyday life even a drop of romance: a small surprise, flowers without a reason, walks in the park, a kiss at the meeting and goodbye. And he should not be friendly, on the cheek, but real, passionate. It's like you're not married, like when you first met and had not yet been filled with each other. Love will keep the marriage until long greedy long kisses take place.
There is no mutual understanding with the husband
Preservation of marriage and building a family home -The case is complex, but feasible, if both spouses take it. Most often it happens that the wife beats in the closed door, trying for the benefit of her husband, and in return receives no thanks. Men in a marriage include a consumer attitude toward a woman who must cook, wash, clean, give birth to children, do them themselves, do not interfere with watching TV, still work, look good, but do not spend money on cosmetics and beauty salons . The spouse is sure that he does not owe anything and is quite capable of making his wife happy with just his presence, at best also with a paid salary. Tired of this situation, asking periodically to itself the question of how to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding, the woman does not find the right answer and decides on the divorce. But is marriage doomed? After all, more recently, you lived the dreams of this man, looked forward to the meeting, solemnly swore in the registry office in eternal love and care in sorrow and joy.
Psychologists suggest using some recommendations, thanks to which mutual understanding and trust can return to family relations.
Tips for preserving marriage
- It is necessary to try to understand the male psychology,because it is radically different from female. Men think and perceive the words of their beloved and in general everything that happens in another way, why girls think that they do not hear, do not like, do not appreciate, do not respect. In the book "Men from Mars, women from Venus," a detailed description of such a problem as the lack of understanding, and how to deal with it without destroying the marriage bonds.
- Give your husband freedom, do not forbid him andLimit control over it. For him it is very important to stay in meditation, and also to do what he likes. If he wants to meet with friends from time to time, go fishing or play chess, let him do it. Personal time will benefit both spouses. His wife will have the opportunity to meet with friends, go shopping or play sports.
- Accept the husband as he is with all hisshortcomings. Do not try to change it, as this venture is doomed to failure: it is almost impossible to force an adult to live differently, contrary to his preferences. Especially since you married him, it means he's not so bad. Therefore, try to see only its positive qualities. And if some of his actions you really do not like, then it's worth talking about it. You do not need to keep silent about the problems, because sometimes a spouse might not even know about their existence.
- Do not save yourself offense and anger.We need to talk about our problems, not to swear, but to discuss and conduct a constructive dialogue. Silence leads to the fact that one spouse runs out of patience, and the other does not even guess all the time that the situation at home is not ideal.
- Mutual understanding in the family is impossible without communicationpartners on all exciting and conflict topics. Learn to listen to your interlocutor, do not interrupt. Do family business together, so you can devote more time to each other.
- Work problems and stress let them remain forthe threshold of a family nest. It's hard for a husband to understand his wife if yesterday, coming home from work, she hugged him, and today she screamed from the doorway, although in both cases he did the same thing. Emotional differences are typical for women. On such days the husband is an occasional "lightning rod". If he knows that his wife has such an attack, then his right behavior is to remain silent, not reacting with a cry for screaming.
Happy wife - a myth or reality?
As you know, any fairy tale can be embodied ina life. So, a happy married life is real. This pair always has time and desire for unpretentious attention signs, thanks to which you can feel warmth, attention and love. After all, it is not at all difficult to warn in advance that you are late from work, in the daytime, allocate a couple of minutes, call and find out how things are. Having met in the evening in the kitchen, loving husband and wife will always ask how each day passed. These little things let you feel what people think about you, worry that you are an important part of a partner's life.
If there is no happiness
How to live with a husband, if there is no mutual understanding infamily even after carrying out all of the above tips? With a probability of 90%, it can be said that this article will be read by women, which means that they will only be followed by recommendations. But you can not achieve a positive result, if both spouses are not working to maintain the relationship. Usually men do not think about such subtle matters as harmony and mutual understanding, it's more important for them to be satiated and watch TV. Such a marriage will last exactly as long as the patience of women suffices.
Accept or disperse?
The opinion imposed by the society influences the adoption oftired wife of the right decision. Almost every council says that a woman should be near her husband, tolerate and accept her difficult share. Many ladies believe that all men are bad, but living alone is even worse and therefore they turn a blind eye to drunkenness, laziness, treason. All this results in scandals, hysterics, hundreds and thousands of dead nerve cells. If the family has children, then they are involuntary witnesses of such dramas. Girls, seeing an unhappy mother, begin with a young age to hate their father, and then of men. Children are building in their mind the wrong model of the relationship between a man and a woman, because of which in the future it will be difficult for them to build their own cell of society. Therefore, sometimes the question of how to live with her husband, if there is no mutual understanding, there is only one right answer: no way!
Freedom or loneliness?
He who has his little copy is not alone.Do not forget that a family is first of all blood ties, which means that after parting with your husband you did not lose the family if you have a child. If you have not found common goals and interests with the spouse that could hold the marriage together, you always have a chance to build harmonious relations with your child. And if your baby is a boy, you should definitely try to educate him so that your future daughter-in-law will tell you "thank you".
