It is often possible to hear such an expression that "lovelyThey are scolded, only they fuss. " However, regular quarrels in the family can not bring anything good. The reasons for this phenomenon can be many. If you are ever more likely to ask: "What if I constantly argue with my husband?", Then it's time to finally recognize the existing problem and try to solve it peacefully. But where to start? And how to fix the situation?
What causes quarrels and strife?
The simplest rule in the family: "To be able to hear and listen to your partner." It is because of non-observance of this rule that quarrels usually begin.
As a result, both spouses cease to listen toopinion of the other and respect his interests. They begin to defend every point of view and, as a result, regularly argue and quarrel. Hence the assertions of women, like this: "We constantly argue with my husband because of trifles." At the same time, both spouses begin to resemble the offended children, who have taken away the toy. Each of them stands on its own and does not intend to give in to another.
If everything continues at the same pace, then both spouses will understand that they have absolutely nothing in common. The consequences of this are divorce, the division of property with all the ensuing consequences.
The main thing is to stop in time
If the husband and wife are constantly arguing, then at leastone of them should definitely stop and take a sober look at the situation. Think carefully about how it all started and how your quarrel is going on. If this could not be remembered, it is necessary to reflect on the fact that both partners are necessarily the culprits of the troubles in the family.
If, in your opinion, the husband started a quarrel, what aboutprevented you to stop on time? Why did you suddenly become a child and with a frenzied fuse have entered into a dispute? You supported the controversial, and therefore, no less than he is to blame.
It is possible that your spouse simply flared up.In this case, it can be influenced by various factors, including unpleasant moments at work, lack of finance and much more. Be smarter. Do not respond to shouting by increasing your tone. Suggest the spouse to calm down and look at the subject of the dispute calmly. At the same time, your tone should be balanced and your voice calm. After that many men come to their senses. Remember, the main thing is to stop in time, before what was said should not be said. And then you will no longer be wondering why my husband and I are constantly arguing.
Try to find a compromise
Any negotiations, including those that occur.between two arguing spouses, need a compromise. Sometimes finding it is not easy, but necessary. For example, if you argue over who will pick up children from school or kindergarten, make a compromise and make a schedule. On Mondays and Wednesdays, your husband will do this and you will do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And so that no one was hurt, on Friday, the grandmother or grandfather will cope with this task. And then you definitely will not begin a conversation with friends with the phrase: "Girls, constantly quarreling with my husband, how to rectify the situation?".
What causes the lack of compromise?
In the absence of a compromise or desire to look for himeach partner will do spite another. For example, the husband will regularly linger at work, because exactly there he will be able to get rid of your reproaches and whims. He will turn off the phone, spend more time with friends. And sometimes to come far in a sober state. All this translates into a certain protest and a desire to get away from the unpleasant and tense situation in the family. As they say, a man should have a reliable rear at home. If he is not there, he will simply go back there less often, and with time, perhaps he will stop altogether.
The wife, on the contrary, will be offended.Sometimes she will turn to parents, relatives, and like-minded people for help. She will ask all of them: “I constantly fight with my husband what to do?”. Of course, each case is individual. However, with this approach, your marriage is unlikely to last long. Act and change the situation for the better.
How to fix the problem together?
In order to solve any problem you needact together. For example, many ladies claim that their discord is purely financial in nature. You can hear something like this from them: “We are constantly fighting with our husband because of money. They are missing. Low salary. We can not buy and postpone anything ", etc. However, before you saw your husband and once again remind him of his small salary, think about what exactly you have done to solve this problem. So how to proceed?
First, talk to your husband. However, do not build your conversation only on reproaches. Psychologists recommend the use of hamburger tactics. Remember that a hamburger has two buns and one chop.
So, first you need to praise the husband, thenscold a little (in moderation, of course), and after - praise again. For example, you get something like this: “Dear! You are so talented and smart. Here only the administration does not appreciate you. Your salary is small, although you work without days off, and you also do everything for three specialists. It is not right. Talk to the management. Say it is time for career growth. You have already grown out of your position and are ready for responsibility, new obligations. Ask to raise you and increase your salary. You know how I appreciate your courage, judgment and responsiveness. You will succeed, you will see! ”.
Believe me, with this approach you will no longer need to look for answers to the question: “Tell me what to do? I constantly fight with my husband and I don’t know what to do! ”.
Do not try to redo anyone and look for solutions by peaceful means.
The most common mistake in familyrelationship is the desire of one partner to redo another. From here both mutual insults, and reproaches. That's just not a single person can be redone, of course, if he does not want it.
If you decide to engage in the "education" of yourhusband, think about it - maybe something is wrong with you. If you think that everything is in order with you, then for cardinal changes in the character of the spouse you should act gently and unobtrusively. And then from your vocabulary forever disappear the catchphrase "constantly quarrel with her husband," which you often use when communicating with friends.
A simple example that many people hear at the receptionpsychologists - the husband often goes in the shoes around the apartment, and his wife does not like it. What do you do in this case? Stop shouting at him. If he is so used to it, talking on high voices is not helpful here. So, the selfish phrase “I want you not to walk around the apartment in shoes” can be easily replaced with “I would like our house to be clean and comfortable. So be kind, do not walk in shoes around the room and appreciate my work. "
Communicate more with each other
Sometimes women make an unforgivable mistake -they are unhappy about something, but they don’t talk about the reason for the husband. Of course, it is possible to expect that the spouse will solve, because of which the other half was offended, can be for years. As a rule, he does not even guess what, in fact, is the question.
If you are not satisfied with something, tell your spouse about it. However, this should be done not in the form of a claim - it is better to communicate gently and gently, without hurting his male vanity.
Pregnant: with the husband constantly we swear
Often to quarrels and mood swings tendwomen in an interesting position. All because of a surplus of hormones. Of course, if you have a loving and caring husband, he will understand what exactly your mood swings are about.
If the situation is tense, and you are nothingcan not do and the scandals continue, try to do breathing exercises. It helps to relax, calm the mind and even balance the emotions. As an option, a special yoga complex for pregnant women with elements of simple exercises and breathing will suit.
Walk more outdoors.In the end, you can fight with emotions and alternative methods. For example, psychologists advise you to sing, dance or engage in creative work (knit, sew, make something). And then your family will be quiet and peaceful.
