Want to boost your emotionalintelligence? You can not build relationships with loved ones, colleagues or neighbors on the landing? Yes, then you really need to work on yourself. But even sociable individuals would be nice to learn how to improve their emotional intelligence. This knowledge is not given to people in school, and therefore many of the citizens of our country may fall into various kinds of depression due to poor control of their emotions.
Learn to observe your feelings.
Do you know anything about the featuresemotional intelligence? Hardly. Do you know why? No, not because such a subject was not in school, but because very few people try to understand themselves. For some reason, people seem stupid to spend time trying to become aware of their emotions. But this must be done by everyone. How can you build relationships with others, if a person doesn’t really know himself? But how to get to know yourself? Start tracking your feelings and emotions. You do not need to control them. At the first stage, you should be able to realize the moment when emotions overwhelmed you. Remember these minutes and the event that led you to a violent reaction. It should also be aware of how often your mood changes, and what is the reason. Thanks to these observations, you will be able to get to know yourself and go to the next step in increasing your emotional intelligence.
Learn to control your feelings.
It is necessary to understand that any development and increaseskills require daily practice. Emotional intelligence is no exception. To improve it, you need to work on yourself every day. How? There are special techniques that increase emotional intelligence. What are they? Let's sort them in turn.
First you need to learn to controlown emotions. Yes, they appear on an unconscious level, but a person can tame his anger or reduce a quarrel to a joke. Adequate behavior speaks of high emotional intelligence. The method of awareness can work wonders. But it needs to be practiced regularly. You can start by controlling emotions not all day, but just one hour in the morning. Then increase the time to two hours, then to three, and so on.
At this time you need to behave withinpropriety, but do not be a robot. You must not only record the fact of the appearance of any feelings, but also control emotions. For example, you had a row with a colleague. Do not raise your voice. Even if your comrade starts screaming, react to it calmly. Be accustomed not to lose your temper at the slightest occasion.
Keep a diary
What does emotional intelligence mean?This ability to understand emotions, both own and those around. And in order to do this better, psychologists are advised to start keeping a diary. It should be filled in the morning. And it seems, why not in the evening? The fact is that in the morning hours the human consciousness only wakes up, so if you try very hard you can talk with the subconscious.
Every morning you have to pick up a pen and write.Take yourself some volume, for example 2-3 pages. And write down daily what you felt yesterday and why something hurt you or made you happy. Remember: emotions are not born by themselves. Everything in our life has a cause. So if you feel bad, good or sad, you have to give yourself an account of why this happened. But if you can’t analyze right away, just record current events. What did you like about the day and why. What did not like - and also definitely need to specify the reason. A diary is a wonderful thing. This manuscript book will help you take yourself to a new level of emotional development.
Learn to analyze
Emotional intelligence develops when you are notjust write down the situation and try to figure it out. For example, thanks to a diary, you noticed that you too often quarrel with your mother. And it is for this reason that your mood deteriorates every evening. Now try to solve the problem. You should understand one thought - not a single normal, physically and mentally healthy person will wish evil to another individual. So if you find a person who intentionally spoils your mood, try to understand what his problem is. After all, only deeply unhappy people find pleasure in spoiling the lives of others. Knowing this, try to eliminate not the effect, but the cause of emotional instability. And most importantly, do not confuse the sequence of transformation. First, you should change yourself, and only then climb with the tips to others.
Develop empathy
To better understand others, they need to learn.sincerely sympathize. Many people know how to be happy for loved ones. But rarely anyone can let someone else's grief to heart. And such insincerity is striking. The development of emotional intelligence is primarily associated with an increase in the level of one’s emotional awareness. Next time, when someone complains about your life, do not close, but sympathize. You should also consider whether you can help someone with something. And if so, then help.
You do not quite understand how morality is related,help and emotion? The fact is that when we help someone, our mood improves. But here we are talking only about sincere help, when a person does not expect anything in return for his labors. Social and emotional intelligence in our country leaves much to be desired. Children are taught good manners, but the younger generation does not see an example in adults. And this fact is depressing.
Art training
You can develop emotional intelligence in different ways.in ways. One of them is to introduce people to art. Today, few people are genuinely interested in the beautiful. It is fashionable to go to art museums, so there are many people there. But in local history museums there is no agiotage, since no one has promoted these places.
You need to truly love art and be able to themenjoy. And for this you should instill a sense of beauty in all segments of the population. What for? Thanks to good pictures, historical lectures and seminars on architecture, the human brain will become more flexible. The level of emotional intelligence will increase, as the person will not close in the area in which he specializes.
After all, if you think about how often auto mechanics goto art galleries? Once in never. And why? They are simply not interested in art. That is why, if you look at certain segments of the population, you can see not only intellectual, but also emotional degradation. Art teaches to live, love and appreciate every moment. Go to the theater, attend seminars and more often visit museums. This is what will help to harmonize the emotional failures of the soul.
Reading
In order to improve emotional intelligencechild, need to turn to books. Children need to instill a love of reading, not only because it is useful in life, but also because it is interesting. Thanks to a good book, you can travel without leaving home. A person can learn about people of a different nationality, visit the ocean and even descend to the seabed. Thanks to the books you can better know others, understand their thoughts, feelings and desires.
Эмоциональный интеллект человека формируется всю life, but begin to lay the foundation should be in childhood. If the parents do not teach the child to read, he will not only lose to his peers in intellectual development. The child will be arrogant and indomitable. Studying on cartoons avoiding books won't work. Modern cartoons are too emotional and colorful. Children can only learn from such programs that frequent mood changes and aggression are part of life.
Learn to listen
You learned how to talk in childhoodlimited to? But how else do you need to learn to communicate? Emotional intelligence of the child depends on education. Many parents do not allow their children to express their opinions, and then they want the child to communicate normally with their peers. And some parents, on the contrary, communicate with the child for days without a break, and then, when they want to sit in silence, they cannot understand why the child cannot leave them alone.
But the biggest problem of our countryis that people are taught to talk, but they do not learn to listen. What for? After all, no one teaches a person to look, he should be able to do it by default. But listening and hearing are two different things. The preschooler's emotional intelligence is formed when parents force him to do everything consciously. If a person makes an effort to understand the topic and not soar in the clouds, many conflicts simply do not arise. But unfortunately, nobody teaches this.
Remember, it's better late than never.You still have a chance to catch up and rehabilitate the child. Teach him not only to think and speak, but also to listen. Start by asking the last conversation again. First, you should convey its general meaning, and then completely repeat in reverse order. This is a good exercise not only for children, but also for adults. It helps to reconsider the dialogue in his memory, and if necessary, reconsider his opinion on the subject of conversation. It is possible to wind off both a 10-minute-old dialogue and one that took place last week or even last month.
Make life easier
Люди привыкли себя накручивать.Their parents teach this from childhood. Mom screams at the slowly dressing child that he is late. And this is repeated day after day. Therefore, the child understands that being late is normal. And how else should the baby think if the mother always runs headlong with him? Growing up, a person takes root in the thought that hurry is normal. Now an adult man runs to meetings, cursing traffic jams and a slow elevator.
But in fact, problems would be easy to avoid,if a person just got up half an hour early. But if you cannot change the events in the moment, you can stop cheating yourself. Because extra experiences have a negative effect on a person’s emotional intelligence. The person becomes nervous and irritable. A person can not concentrate and because of this spoils his relationship with everyone who falls under the hot hand.
How to learn to let go of problems?Learn to abstract. At the moment when everything is getting out of control, think, can you change something now? And if you can, then act. But if you can not do anything, relax. Today's problems tomorrow will become trifling, but sometimes it is very difficult to realize this thought.
Sign language
The answer to the question of how to develop emotionalintelligence is very simple. Develop observation. She has not been superfluous for anyone. A person who has perfectly learned to manage his emotions will easily be able to notice the slightest mood swings of the interlocutor. This can be done on a subconscious level, but a person rarely trusts his intuition. Therefore, in order to better understand others, you should observe them. Especially for those people with whom you see every day.
Having studied the behavior of the spouse and his habits, the wifebe able to predict the development of the situation. And what will it give? Will help keep a strong and happy marriage. If people understand each other better, there is no point in concealing sincere feelings. Therefore, pay attention to the study of body language.
Many will be surprised, but a person can manageyour emotions only due to a change in posture. For example, when a person crosses his arms on his chest - it means she is afraid. But once a man uncouples his hands and puts them on his belt, he feels much more confident and even a bit more aggressive. Such psychological techniques will help increase emotional intelligence and become more insightful.
Travels
Не знаете рецепта, как развить эмоциональный intelligence? Travel. This occupation helps from all problems. On trips you will get new impressions, make interesting acquaintances and be sure to increase your emotional intelligence. How? Meeting new people, we will know ourselves better. A person sees other laws, other orders and a different lifestyle. In each country, different values and different ideas about the beautiful. Thanks to the trips you can become kinder, tolerant and calm. New impressions also help to reconsider their views on the world. After all, a person who has never traveled outside his city can not have a broad outlook. Yes, he may have a large stock of knowledge, thanks to books, but one thing is to read about a place, and quite another to admire it live.
Be observant
How often do you watch your actions?You put the sausage in the breadbasket, and the bread in the fridge? If so, your observation needs to be corrected. How to fix it? It should be daily to do small exercises. For example, when you come to work, mark yourself or in a notebook which of your colleagues is in what mood. If you turn it into a game, it will be even more interesting. Just give yourself a report. First in emotions, then you can start noticing what and how a person speaks. Very often, the gestures and words of the speaker differ. At this moment, an observant viewer can say with complete confidence that your interlocutor is cunning. Further more. Try to determine the mood of people by their emotions. Such experiments can be carried out while you are walking to the subway, or while you are bored in traffic. The more often you train your observation, the sooner the skill to notice unobtrusive things will become your second nature.
