/ / How to stop depending on someone else's opinion

How to stop depending on someone else's opinion

Listening to the opinion of other people is goodA habit that allows you not to shut yourself up in your own selfishness and often even get better. But sometimes this quality passes through some invisible line and becomes a painful and unpleasant phenomenon. Someone else's opinion can bring spiritual anguish, and some particularly persistent people will even be able to dictate their will to us. In this situation, there is nothing good, and if you get into it or are afraid to get into it, then you need to strengthen your "protective barriers" and resist public and personal pressure.

Do not act on the contrary

If you want to stop depending on someone else'sopinions, it can be assumed that the easiest way is not to pay attention to it. This is not a very good move, because ignoring other people's opinions is the same mistake as completely dependent on them. Try to filter every opinion that you think has an impact on you.

First think about what the person is trying to do,who is imposing this opinion on you. Why does he do this? He really wants to subordinate you to his will, acting so always by virtue of his character - or did you just think that this opinion is obsessive? In any case, be sure to reflect on what the person wanted to tell you and what can be learned from this message. If it is a criticism, then it certainly has a reasonable grain, which you can usefully turn into the next step of self-development. If a person just emotionally expressed in his heart, then perhaps he needs your support.

Flowing water style

If other people have a strong influence on you, then chances are that it's hard for you to refuse. Hence, you need to learn to say "No". It's easy to say, it's not easy to do!Try to be self-confident and do not refuse to the right and left. At the same time, it is not necessary to soften the very form of rejection. Act, as the Japanese do from time immemorial: first, instead of "No" say: "I'll think about it." And then get the courage and give up really, preparing the weighty arguments. If this is done face to face, it will still be difficult, then use the "electronic intermediary", that is, formalize your refusal by e-mail or message in the messenger. At the same time it will be possible to point out the points correctly and to write down the reason for their refusal, but not to select words, painfully blushing with embarrassment.

Study, study and study again!

So that no one can influence your opinion,practice how to make it yourself. For example, write critical reviews and reviews of everything you see, hear and visit. Films, books, performances - this is from the obvious, but you can still write a review of a new employee, repair in the apartment of your best friend or even a "review" of the stupid dog of your neighbor. All this contributes to the formation of critical thinking and the emergence of self-confidence, because if you get used to look for arguments for reviews and reviews, then in ordinary conversation you can easily find them. If you easily convince other people's arguments in conversations, then express your opinion first, then no one can change it. And valuable finds of others you can always note during their story.

Uniqueness of the snowflake

To express one's opinion on a par with someone else'sit is important to love yourself for who you are. Do not belittle your own personality, do not be shy and try to realize that all people are different, therefore your opinion is just as valuable as the opinion of another person. Of course, there are cases when the opinion of another person will be more valuable than yours. For example, if you work for your position for only a couple of months, and with you on a professional topic communicates a pros with ten years of experience, which the dog ate this specialty. But in this situation, you should not worry, because if this pro is really such a good specialist, he will always be open to someone else's opinion and will not allow ridicule of someone else's mistakes. Do not be afraid to express your opinion, if it contradicts the opinion of the majority. Remember the uniqueness of every person and every opinion, then there will be no problems with this issue.

Look for a positive

The main enemy of the person over whomsomeone else's opinion is not so much an insecurity as a tendency to think out. Many people exaggerate the significance of their mistakes and failures in the lives of others, are afraid to seem stupid or frivolous, although in fact almost everyone around them will forget about your worst failure and think more about themselves in five minutes. If you really got into a situation where your opinion was not just wrong, but even stupid, and you were given powerful arguments in favor of this, then do not despair and do not get lost. First laugh at yourself, wrap everything up in a joke - and everyone will have an impression of you as an easy and pleasant person, and not as shy traveler.