Many are not serious about such a problem asmarriage crisis. 7 years, however, is a time limit, which is a turning point when the family literally begins to burst at the seams. This period accounts for the largest number of divorces. But do not think that this is a sentence and an end to everything. There is a way out of any crisis.
The essence of the crisis
Even the happiest couple are not immune fromsuch problems as the crisis of marriage. 7 years is an approximate period when spouses begin to feel a certain discomfort. On the one hand, behind the back is a great experience, a well-established life and an established relationship, and on the other - the lack of development and a fog of further prospects.
It should be understood that not just comesmarriage crisis. 7 years is a rather long period, during which some insults can accumulate, misunderstandings arise or an elementary habit can be formed. Thus, people go to crisis situations for quite a long time and systematically, and at some point everything breaks out.
Pay attention to the life of your family andestablished relationship. Do you have any traditions or common goals? If yes, most likely you will pass this unpleasant situation. But if the family is only a joint residence, sooner or later you start thinking that the best times have already been lived. And here it is very important to understand the value of your relationship and past years.
The main causes of the crisis
Not out of the blue there is a crisis.7 years of marriage is a sufficient period to accumulate certain problems. Thus, the following are the most common causes of a family crisis:
- Boredom and monotony due to the dispositionlife. You no longer need to worry about finding shared housing, to get used to each other’s habits. From a certain moment you begin to live in accordance with a certain rhythm, which excludes the appearance of something new in the relationship.
- Fragmentation of interests and gradual separationfrom each other. Spouses no longer interesting to spend time together. Weekends and holidays are increasingly being held separately, because the former lover was just bored in the company of each other.
- Intimate problems. After 7 years of marriage, partners find it difficult to surprise each other with something. Sometimes it makes the couple look for more vivid impressions on the side.
- Disagreements in matters of life views and goals. For 7 years, people learn about each other that was not available at the beginning of dating. As a result, personal dislike may arise between the spouses.
- The lack of romance and sensuality in a relationship. People no longer treat each other with trepidation and no longer try to do something pleasant.
The crisis of 7 years of marriage: symptoms
In order to get out of the family crisis, it must be recognized in time. So, it is worth sounding the alarm if you feel the following symptoms:
- the desire for intimacy disappears, contacts become extremely rare and do not bring pleasure;
- you no longer try to please each other;
- any problem turns into recriminations and loud quarrels;
- opinion about most issues becomes the opposite;
- spouses no longer empathize with each other's problems;
- mutual irritation is present;
- one of the spouses feels slighted, deprived and offended;
- you no longer want to share your joys or troubles with your soulmate.
How to hear each other?
You need to learn to understand and hear each other,if you did not get around the crisis of marriage. 7 years is a decent period, for which enough arguments should be accumulated, testifying in favor of preserving the family. To learn to hear and understand each other, it is important to consider such points:
- Learn to talk with each other.During the 7 years of marriage, the spouses must establish a sufficiently trusting relationship to frankly tell each other about their problems. Having just talked, you can break the ice and become on the path of reconciliation.
- Appreciate what unites you.This is not just a multi-year joint life. Remember those moments when you were not spouses. What attracted you to each other? How did you build your family life? All this should mark the value of the relationship.
- Treat the crisis not as a tragedy, but as an opportunity to consider existing problems and get rid of them, and not to hush up further.
- Show past respect and tenderness to each other. Perhaps the absence of these feelings led your family to a crisis. Speaking words of love and giving warmth, it is much easier to solve problems.
Solution
In fact, it is not so difficult to overcome the crisis 7years of marriage. His characteristic allows us to conclude that this is a problem of habit, measured life and misunderstanding. In this regard, you can take the following measures to overcome the crisis:
- Eliminate boredom from your life. When planning a family budget, be sure to include the item "entertainment". At least once a week, go together to the cinema, to the club, to a cafe or just to the nature.
- Try to solve intimate problems.If you have not done this before, read a couple of books on this issue. You will certainly find in them valuable tips that will make your partner fall in love with you again.
- Learn to make concessions (at least inminor points), for example, choosing the color of the wallpaper or tile for the bathroom. In fact, these are trifles. But, by showing respect to the opinion of the second half, you can again achieve its location.
- Try to get back to the candy bouquetperiod when you romance moved. Send each other cute messages, write notes with hearts, give nice gifts, arrange dinners by candlelight, watch movies about love. The main thing is to do it sincerely, with a soul.
- Remember why you chose thisman to create a family. It is desirable that the couple put it all in writing, and then read each other. It will take you back to those happy times when everything was just beginning, and allow you to fall in love again.
What should a woman do?
If you have lived for 7 years in a marriage, a relationship crisisshould not scare you, because a lot has already been passed, and this is just another step. A woman, as the keeper of the home, should be the first to feel that something was wrong and try to eliminate the trouble. Pay attention to your appearance. Do you look as charming as 7 years ago? If not, you need to work in this direction. Register in a gym, visit a beauty salon, change the image. In the end, stop walking at home in a bathrobe and curlers. Make your man fall in love with you again, arouse his former passion in him. If your appearance is all right, try to work on your personality. Perhaps you should find some hobby in which you can realize yourself.
What should a man do?
Как пережить кризис 7 лет брака?Many men prefer to seek comfort on the side or even create new families. In the meantime, there is every chance to save a marriage that has been built for many years. Take care of your appearance. Not only a woman should look like a needle. A man should also take care of himself and his wardrobe. But most importantly - stop treating your spouse as a servant. The wife is not a cook, not a laundress or a maid. This is primarily a friend who goes with you in life. Let the woman feel loved, protect her, make pleasant surprises. Then you are not afraid of any crises.
Conclusion
Many couples face problems likecrisis 7 years of marriage. His characteristics, features have been thoroughly studied by family psychologists, and therefore, to consult a specialist is the most correct decision. He will surely tell you that the basis of a happy marriage is mutual respect. Spouses are not each other's property. These are people who have made a voluntary decision to go through life together. And this road should be happy. To make it so, always return on the day of your acquaintance. Try to become like a few years ago, to return the relationship of past passion and novelty.
