Can I punish my child?Most often this question is asked by young parents. The subject of corporal punishment is very controversial. There are 2 categories of parents: the first apply physical punishment, and the second - no. To beat on a pope or not to beat? How to punish a child if he does not obey? What are the consequences?
Key styles of education
The history of human development identifies three main parenting styles that parents use:
- Authoritarian. The kid in this case is subjected to totalcontrol and obedience. He must comply with all the requirements of the parent, otherwise he will be punished. There is a quick addiction to this style.
- Democratic style characterized by the fact that the baby in such a family is entitled to their position. The purpose of this style is the formation of a harmoniously developed personality; parents apply a lot of time and effort for this.
- Mixed method includes both rewards and punishments. It combines several educational styles, which does not always lead to a positive result.
What is physical punishment?
Type of punishment whose purpose is to inflictbodily pain to the guilty, it is considered to be physical. In addition to the well-known methods (slap, belt on the pope), there are also punishments with a towel, slippers, a click on the forehead, etc. All these methods pursue one goal: to show their superiority over the child, to create a painful effect, to prove their case.
The main reasons for the physical punishment of children
Most modern moms and dads, punishing their children, believe that it is their parental duty. But this is facilitated by several key reasons:
- Heredity. In most cases, the parents take out their anger on the child, based on their childhood and past. They have no idea that you can bring up differently.
- Lack of awareness of parents in educational processes. This means that the punishment is carried out because the parents of other methods do not know.
- A quick way to solve a problem. It is not necessary to spend a lot of time on explanations and teachings, it is easier to strike, and not to solve the issue verbally.
- Breakdowns against their own failures. Very often, children are hostages of parental failures. Uncertainty about tomorrow, interpersonal conflicts, internal experiences - all this can affect a child.
Why children do not obey?
We all know that there are no perfect and obedient children. In psychology, there are several reasons for children's disobedience:
- diffidence;
- gaps in education;
- a way to attract attention;
- the desire for contradictions;
- a way to assert itself;
- many requirements for the child.
Most children's whims and casesdisobedience due to the fact that the child matures, feels himself a unit, and the parents still think that he is still a crumb. The kid does not obey if mom and dad do not pay attention to him. This is a very effective method. If you don’t spend enough time with your child, then he may get offended, and then he may not do everything the way you want, but as he sees fit.
Parents who use authoritarianparenting style, there are many requirements for the child, sometimes not corresponding to his development and age. They put their opinion above all else, the child’s opinion is not taken into account, they only demand it. If he does not follow instructions, then he is punished. Developing a child in such an environment is very difficult.
The impact of corporal punishment on a child
Physical and psychological punishment of childrenprohibited by law, but many parents practice this method, considering it the most effective. Adults often cannot contain their anger, it is easier for them to give a belt to their bottom than to explain their wrongness with a child’s accessible language. If you use this method of education as corporal punishment, then wait for the consequences. Often, the little man has fear, which can later greatly affect his future life.
If a child is afraid of a loved one, then it is infuture may affect his interpersonal relations, adaptation in society, at work. Parents should know that it is impossible to beat a pope, humiliate, shout at his heir, because he can grow insecure in himself, without aspirations in life. He will think that whoever has the power is right.
Physical effects of corporal punishment
Very often, corporal punishment leads tophysical injury to your offspring. This is due to the fact that many parents do not count their strength in punishing children. There is an addiction to slaps on the pope, especially if they are used every day. This leads to the fact that the child's behavior does not change, and the force of bodily influences increases. As a result, severe injuries are formed.
Without controlling himself, the parent is able to inflicttrauma to the child, incompatible with his life. And then the punishment of children will lead to disastrous consequences. Cuffs and cuffs lead to the fact that the baby can hit a sharp corner or other objects in the house.
Physical consequences can manifest themselves as enuresis, various tics, encopresis, etc. Do not hit the children, be rational! After all, the child is several times smaller than you.
Psychological consequences of corporal punishment
- Low self-esteem. The child will be guided in life by the principle: whoever has the power is right.
- Influence on the child's psyche, possible developmental delay.
- Lack of focus on lessons, in games.
- The projection of the same behavior on their own children.
- Most children who have been physically abused will become abusive in the future.
- The child ceases to live with reality, not solving the problems that have arisen, not studying.
- Constantly present feelings of fear and desire for revenge.
- Punishment and humiliation leads to loneliness, the child feels alienated, useless.
- There is a distance from parents, relationships deteriorate. If violence is applied in the family, there will be no contact points.
The psychological consequences are alsofrequent anxiety, feeling of confusion, fear, increased anxiety. The appetite may worsen, the child may sleep poorly, hyperactivity increases.
Alternative to corporal punishment, or how to punish a child
Manifestation of weakness, lack of certainpedagogical knowledge and skills of parents leads to physical punishment of children. How to punish a child so as not to harm him? You can not beat the pope children, use the alternative. What is needed for this:
- It is necessary to switch the child's attention to something else.
- It is necessary to captivate toddler in such an occupation that he stopped messing about.
- Come up with new entertainment to encourage the baby, and not vice versa. For example, you can put all the scattered toys in the box. Read him his favorite book or bedtime story.
- Kiss and hug your child so that he feels your warmth and love. Spend more time with him.
- Replace corporal punishment with more loyal methods (do not go for a walk, turn off the TV, take the tablet).
Treat your children's pranks philosophically,projecting the whole range of actions. Try to communicate more with your children, create a trusting relationship with each other, and then the problems will be much less. Learn to deal with problems without punishment. It is important for parents to understand that children should not be beaten on the bottom by any circumstances!
