The crisis of middle age is always sneaking upsuddenly. You turn 30 or 35, and suddenly on the horizon there is depression. You want changes, because it seems that life is almost over and old age is just around the corner. How to get rid of these obsessive thoughts? Read below.
What is a midlife crisis?
This is a condition that appears in menand women in the middle of their life path. The crisis of middle age marks a new round of your life. Usually he comes along with another birthday. The person involuntarily thinks about the age, then looks at himself in the mirror and suddenly realizes that his appearance is slowly beginning to change. Wrinkles appear, the figure swims and it seems that nothing good in life is waiting for you. What is a midlife crisis? This is the realization of the approaching death. A person understands that most of his goals and plans have not become a reality, and the allotted time may not be enough to realize a dream. Some people can realize that they live with an unloved person, go to boring work and have never traveled abroad. At this critical moment, a person can choose several roads. He or will begin to realize long-established goals, or succumb to depression and begin to engage in self-flagellation. And then for the sake of self-assertion, he can start buying expensive toys that he can not afford. These can be cars, apartments or a widescreen TV. But such a thoughtless amount of loans does not help a person feel better, but only aggravates the problems even more.
Is there a crisis for everyone?
No, not all people are affected by thisproblem. Some can live happily before retirement and never find out what a middle age crisis is. Why do some suffer, and others do not? People who know how to set goals and achieve what they want, those who have got a family and children on time, those who know how to get along with others will be able to avoid problems. The crisis of middle age affects people with low self-esteem, who are accustomed to postpone life for later. Such people always think that tomorrow will come, and on this mythical day it will be possible to change everything. And today you can relax and watch TV. Miracles do not happen. So for laziness and apathy have to pay psychological problems. If a person has not achieved anything by the middle of his life path, and there is some imbalance in life spheres, the problems will not take long to wait.
The crisis of middle age is not a disease.Some people consider him even a normal life phenomenon. But this is not so. A crisis is a state into which a person who does not resolve the accumulated psychological problems for a long time runs into. If you manage everything in time, go to a therapist or independently find solutions to difficult life situations, then problems can easily be avoided. But our compatriots do so rarely. Do you know at least one person who goes to a therapist? Hardly. Even if your friend signs up for a similar session, he will be ashamed to tell others that he needed help.
The accumulated problems do not find a way out for a dayin the afternoon. And any small thing can be the last straw. But still, if you change the symptoms in time, you can not bring your condition to the crisis. If you study yourself well, you can even conduct a psychotherapy yourself.
What are the symptoms of the crisis of middle age in women and men?
- dissatisfaction with his appearance,
- lack of entertainment,
- quarrel with his partner,
- discontent with children,
- misunderstanding at work,
- lack of sport in life.
If you are now about 30, you should noticeall their failures. They show your weaknesses. If you swear daily with your husband, then think about why quarrels are taking place? Perhaps you want to attract the attention of a man in this way? Or maybe you want to assert yourself? Find the true problem of conflict and fight with it.
The causes of the crisis
You understand the symptoms of the problem, now you need toto realize the reasons. One of the most common in men is dissatisfaction with life. Everyone wants to do what they love, achieve a position in society and have an interesting social circle. And if a person does not reach it, his stress begins. The reasons for the mid-life crisis in women are the lack of family and children. Every girl dreams of a big and friendly family. And if up to 40 years a woman could not give birth, the chances of doing this in future are reduced to zero. This is for many and is a psychological trauma. At the age of 30, it seemed to the girls that first they need to pursue a career, and the family can be pushed into the background. And then it turned out that work at night does not heat. Men are least experienced because of unborn children. After all, they will be able to fertilize a woman even at the age of 60.
Another reason for the crisis of middle agecan become aging. Because of the change in appearance, not only women but also men are experiencing it. After all, they understand that the peak of their physical activity has already passed, and now, in order to maintain a good shape, you need to apply two or even three times more effort than before.
What is the cure for the midlife crisis?and how many years does he hit a person? Each individual has his own psychology, his own complexes and principles. Therefore, the crisis of middle age begins in all different ways. In some, it can begin at 30. This is not uncommon for people who grew up without parents. Because of the lack of warmth and support in childhood, various complexes can develop which will only make a person aware at a conscious age. If a person grew up in a normal family, the crisis will overtake him from 35 to 40. At this time, if the person has not achieved success in all areas of life, she will begin to have problems and depression. It will seem that the world has become gray and it's time to change something. But psychologists say that no matter how a person tries to escape from himself, it will not work. So if it seems to you that moving from Moscow to the Maldives will fix the situation, then this is just an illusion. It is necessary to understand yourself. And if you do not get it, you need to go to a specialist.
How to survive the crisis of middle age?You need to find a goal in life. Write down your children's desires and hobbies and renew them. No one will blame you for this. If you do not have enough emotions - jump off the parachute or engage in horse riding. If you still do not have a personal life - start dating. Try to find a balance between home, work, family, friends, sports, entertainment and self-development. And if you succeed, you can think that you have successfully emerged from the crisis.
Or maybe leave the family?
The average age crisis in men after 40 is oftenis connected with such a question. It seems to a man that another woman can make him happier. But the question should ask yourself this: and what does my wife not like me? If a man could live peacefully with a woman for 10 years, it means that she was quite happy with it. Leaving the family is a difficult decision. You can not take it lightly. Especially in the case if there are children. A man should himself clearly report what exactly he wants to find in a new relationship? Passion, tenderness, mutual understanding or love? First you need to talk with your wife. Maybe she also lacks it. You can leave always. First you need to try to save the marriage. And if nothing can be done already, then the separation will be the best solution.
The crisis of middle age in women passesa little differently than men. Representatives of the fairer sex are more phlegmatic, so it is quite easy to destroy a marriage for them. Especially this decision is easily accepted by ladies who have already managed to acquire a lover. It seems to a woman that a new man will love her forever, that passion can not disappear. But it should be understood that as long as a person does not change himself, he will attract the same people with the same characters and views of the world.
Will the image change help?
How does the mid-life crisis manifest after 30?Symptoms in women can be this: they look in the mirror and see the first wrinkles, gray hair, pigment spots on the skin. This all leads to thoughts about the approaching old age. But no woman wants to grow old. Therefore, many people decide at this age for a plastic surgery. They do facelift, they can even change the shape of the nose or lips. It seems to them that their life is not settled because of some external shortcomings, and not because of internal complexes. What is the use of changing hair or hair color, if thoughts do not change from this? Of course, some people find it easier to set themselves up to the fact that a new life must necessarily begin with external changes. But remember: nothing in life will change until you change.
What to do if a husband has a mid-life crisisand he begins to grow young? Pay your attention to it. After all, men, like women, always want to look prettier for the opposite sex. Therefore, the wife should be the first to appreciate the efforts of men. After all, if a close woman does not do this, there will be someone on the side who will be able to evaluate the efforts with dignity.
Take care of your health
How to treat a middle-aged crisis in men?Years to 35 the body begins to lose its former form and strength. And in order not to be horrified, looking at yourself in the mirror, you need to play sports. This will help to avoid many health problems. And most importantly, people who are engaged in sports think more soberly and ingeniously. The influx of oxygen and blood to the brain helps to improve cognitive abilities. And sport is a great way of a kind of meditation. In this state it is difficult to think or engage in self-flagellation. After all, you need to focus on breathing and consider approaches to a sports projectile. After training, no one feels bad, at least morally. Therefore, if you do not know what to do or how to improve your life, you can safely go to the gym.
And what to do after a mid-life crisis?Do not stop your training in any way. Do not take fitness as a medicine. Think of sports as an integral part of life. Then it will be easier to walk into the hall.
Children are the flowers of life
Think about why you came to this world?That's right, to fulfill your life mission. But you will one day die. And in order to transfer your accumulated knowledge and your experience, you need to think about children. They make life full. Yes, you can not make a child the meaning of your life and the center of the universe. But it's children who will brighten up your old age and bring a glass of water when you are already unable to get up. Therefore, in order not to have a crisis of middle age, think about the children in the age of 28. And if you give birth to the first child to 30, perhaps psychological problems will bypass you. Do not have to cheat yourself and envy family couples with children.
And what are the symptoms of the crisis of middle age inmen after 40 years? At this age, a man understands that children are part of his life. And if they are, they begin to take an active part in their development. But deserving children's attention and love is sometimes difficult. Especially if the guys rarely see Dad. Therefore, a man can become depressed because his own children do not like him. In order not to seek an answer to the question of how to deserve the sympathy of a child, one should pay attention to his child from his very birth.
In order not to think about what to do aftercrisis of middle age, should, after feeling its symptoms, immediately start to solve the problem. What kind of prevention? You should do a little exercise. Draw a circle and divide into those spheres of life that seem important to you. It can be a family, work, self-development, friends, love, sports, etc. And now put in each sector a point. It should be closer to the middle, the less you pay attention to this area. Then connect the dots. Do not worry if you get a tarantula, not a circle. Your task is to do it in order to bring your life in order. If you do not do your health, sign up for a massage or a swimming pool, if you do not pay attention to the family, stop working in the evenings. Every week, do this exercise, and you will always know which sphere of your life needs increased attention.
To always feel confident, you needwork with your self-esteem. Many people manage to live a lifetime, without experiencing any pleasure from life itself. It is clear that in this situation, the crisis of middle age will not take long. If a person will spend at least every weekend interesting, go on trips, gather with friends, get out into the forest, then he will not have the impression that life is passing by. But if the person will sit out free evenings and all their weekends at the TV, it will not be difficult to understand what threatens this person in 30 years with obesity.
Learn to do everything in advance.It will greatly help you in life. If you are not exhausted all the time because you are doing the project at the last moment, you will have time to spend it alone with your thoughts. Do you think this is difficult? Yes, it is sometimes not easy to organize your life. But when you control everything that is happening, quietly making some adjustments that will always appear, it will be easier to follow what is happening around you. Thus, it will be easy to develop a habit of analysis. And this skill will help you to solve all your problems in a proven way.