Making friends is importantstage of becoming a person as a person. Without communication and close comrades, people begin to feel depressed and useless. A friend is a foothold, a personal psychologist and a reliable partner. However, it is very difficult to maintain friendship, because it, like any other relationship, requires participation. Selfishness, mercantile spirit and composure will be disastrous for her. To build friendships and preserve them throughout life, it is recommended to follow the advice of psychologists.
Accept friends as they are
Everyone knows that he has certainshortcomings, but he can not do anything about it. Even if a person himself is not able to correct some nuances in himself, then demanding from him a complete change of his habits or a change of opinion is at least cruel and selfish.
To build a full-fledged friendship, it is important to take a friend with all his minuses or just stay in a friendly relationship with him.
Choose your friends as equals
Эта рекомендация звучит довольно жестоко, но это true. The fact is that people differing in intelligence, temperament and level of development will not be able to be friends for a long time. Usually, such relationships remain at one point and rarely develop beyond rare meetings and a short joint rest.
The fact is that a strong person sooner or laterwill understand that he literally "pulls" his friend on himself. At first, this will not result in serious conflicts, but in a few years this situation will start to annoy both. The same applies to intellectual abilities. A smart person will not be able to maintain friendly relations for a long time with those who are significantly inferior in their development. Such relationships are doomed to failure.
Be able to listen
To build a long-term relationship, you needlearn to speak not only about yourself, but also to be interested in what is happening in the life of a friend. No one likes people who constantly complain about their lives and constantly wait for support, without giving anything in return.
It is necessary to understand that some people keep their experiences inside - it is easier for them to survive adversity. Other people definitely need to speak out, because only in this way can they feel relieved.
Do not be friends for three
In friendship, as in love, the third is superfluous.No matter how strong the affection of the three friends is, the bond of two of them will always be stronger. In addition, psychologists have long proven that good friendships can only exist between two people.
If a person is lucky, and he has 2 best friends at once, then you should communicate with them separately, in order not to make the third party jealous.
In large companies, the phrase often sounds:“We are like one family,” but this is far from the case. In such “communes,” friendship lasts until the moment when people are united by something in common. For example, everyone does not have children, spouses, etc. As soon as one person from the company has a change in life, most likely, all his comrades will turn away from him.
Avoid psychological dependence
It is very important to understand that in the process of developmentfriendly relations with each of the partners will change marital status, status, place of residence and much more. Girls and young people very often complain about their comrades, saying that they have moved away from them after the wedding or the birth of a child.
Do not confuse the concepts of "friendship" and "love." A friend is not obliged to devote all his time and attention to a friend, he can and should have a personal life.
According to statistics, men are more susceptible.psychological dependence on friends, because of this, they often have quarrels in the family. Putting friendships first is a big mistake, as companionship should carry positive energy, not be a burden for life.
Do not delay conflicts
Friendship is a very subtle union that is easy.can be destroyed with just a few rash words left in the heat of insult. However, you need to understand that any conflict is more difficult to resolve if you over-tighten it. It is necessary to try to stipulate problems immediately after they occur. If the quarrel was very serious, then it is worth cooling down a little and talking to a friend the next day.
According to psychologists, it is best to allowconflict situations no earlier than 24 hours, but no later than 48 hours. If you pull too long, one of the comrades will think that for the second friend their relationship is not so important.
Do not be jealous
Only a true friend will be sincerely happy with success.your friend. If envy crept into the relationship, it will destroy everything. Friendship is based not only on mutual assistance, but also on the ability to rejoice over your neighbor.
If a person is jealous, then on a subconscious level, he will wish evil to his friend. Sooner or later it will lead to the termination of friendship.
Can I forgive the betrayal of a friend
Betrayal is the most pressing and difficult topic in both love and friendship relationships. In this matter, it all depends on the "gravity of the crime."
If a friend met with another friend and did not tell you about it, then this should not be treated as treason. Accordingly, there is nothing to be offended either.
To consider as a betrayal the fact that a friend has a family, and now he is with her most of the time, is also very silly and selfish.
If the comrade began to spread false rumorsor framed at work in front of the authorities, then this characterizes him not with the best hand. Of course, you can not terminate the relationship immediately, but at least you need to talk to the traitor and find out why he did this.
Another important nuance - you can not look for excusesbetrayal. It must be clearly understood that the one who betrayed will betray again. In this situation, there are only two options: forgive a friend and accept him with all his vices or end the relationship.
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman
In this matter, psychologists are unanimous:in such friendships, one person always feels warmer. This is due to the fact that at a certain point a man or woman will begin to see a sexual object in his friend.
Even if the friendly relationship betweenrepresentatives of different sexes were born in distant childhood - this does not mean that these people all their lives will experience exclusively platonic feelings for each other.
In addition, it is worth considering the fact thatmen and women differently understand the meaning of friendship. If the representative of the stronger sex sees a girlfriend as a girlfriend, then he will boldly tell her about his romantic adventures, he will not open the door to her or pay for dinner.
A woman subconsciously perceives hermale friend as a potential young man. Therefore, it will offend such behavior. In order to try to build real intersexual friendly relations, you will have to make a lot of efforts.
First, you need to immediately agree that asonly one of the comrades will begin to feel more warm and tender feelings, he must honestly admit it. Secondly, you should not talk too frankly about your love affairs, it is better to leave this topic for comrades of the same sex.
Построение настоящих дружеских отношений – это a long process that requires a lot of effort on both sides. The main thing is to always remain sincere with a friend, not to envy him and not be jealous - then the friendship will last for many years.
